02202020 And The Rest Is History

To my dearest Markus,

02-20-2020 at 20:00H– Indeed, airports tell unique love stories… And just like ours, exactly two months ago today, I had the best feeling in my life while I was walked towards you. I will just keep it short, but you are indeed an answered prayer. I always knew you were out there. I could feel you in my soul. And the moment our souls connected, my heart lost all control. 

It is an interesting feeling…to feel grounded while you’re floating. To feel stable while you’re falling. To feel at home when you’ve only just met. 

It’s an interesting feeling… to finally found your SOULMATE. 

I hope you will love this song, Markus. I love you so much… 

MOVING CLOSER
By: Never The Strangers
 
When you smile, everything’s in place
I’ve waited so long, can make no mistake
All I am reaching out to you
I can’t be scared, got to make a move

While we’re young, come away with me
Keep me close and don’t let go

Inch by inch, we’re moving closer
Feels like a fairytale ending
Take my heart, this is the moment
I’m moving closer to you
I’m moving closer to you

Who’d have thought that I’d breathe the air
Spinning ’round your atmosphere

I’ll hold my breath, falling into you
Break my fall and don’t let go

Inch by inch, we’re moving closer
Feels like a fairytale ending
Take my heart, this is the moment
I’m moving closer to you

Inch by inch, we’re moving closer
Feels like a fairytale ending
Take my heart, this is the moment
I’m moving closer to you

Moving closer…
Closer to you…
Moving closer…

I’m moving closer to you. ❤
 
+++
 
Babe, you are the best thing that happened to me this 2020… I will always love you. 
 
 
Love,
 
Faith

Terrified: An Open Letter to my Dearly Beloved

To my dearly beloved Markus,

I have been thinking about this song for a week now and I wanted to share with you how beautiful it is. So, I played it on my ukulele last night, with you in my thoughts while I sang each line from the lyrics.

You might wonder why I loved this song. The lyrics say it all. . I can say that I’m very much related to this song because that is how I felt at first. Remember when I cried in front of you (in Romblon) while expressing my fear of entering into a new relationship, and yet you gave me a different feeling of what I should believe in when I met you.

It is entitled, Terrified. It means that it is something you’re afraid of. Like losing that person, or even afraid to try new love because I am afraid that it might turn out again into a failed relationship, but you changed how I felt about this.. About US.  You gave me the assurance that you true love is merely different from my past and if I would open more of myself to you, you would be everything that I needed. You touched my soul and told me not to hold it back, and so I did… and everything started so wonderful.

You may not be my first love but you gave me a deeper soul connection with you when you came along, everything became so different unlike before. I will forever be thankful that I we found each other, my Soulmate…

I love you so much, Markus. I will forever love you.

Love,

Faith

+++
So here here’s how the song goes:

 

Lyrics:

TERRIFIED by Katharine McPhee

You by the light
Is the greatest find
In the world full wrong
You’re the thing that’s right
Finally made it
Through the lonely
To the other side

You said it again
My heart’s in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I’m at the edge
Of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark

And I’m in love
And I’m terrified
For the first time
In the last time
In my only life

And this could be good
It’s already better than that
And nothing’s worse
Than knowing you’re holding back
I could be all
That you needed
If you let me try

You said it again
My heart’s in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I’m at the edge
Of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark

And I’m in love
And I’m terrified
For the first time
In the last time
In my only

I only said it ’cause I mean it
I only mean ’cause it’s true
So don’t you doubt what I’ve been dreaming
‘Cause it fills me up
And holds me close
Whenever I’m without you

You said it again
My heart’s in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
Watching the shadows burning in the dark

And I’m in love
And I’m terrified
For the first time
In the last time
In my only life
Life
Life
In my only life..

OhwhyHELLo

You wake to find love crushed at your doorstep. As if overnight someone had tried to slip it under but it was too big, too unfamiliar to fit in your chest.

The earth shakes and all the cities under your skin are falling. And no one is around to hear it. Are you still broken if nobody witnessed your collapse? So you carry it with you.

All this crushed love, these quivers of excruciating pain. And they never tell you how hard it is to lose love in people. How at night you can still feel your heart tugging towards them.

-cflopez-

Superwoman and Other Metaphors of Cruelty

People are intentionally hurtful.

They have no consideration to others just as long as they can accommodate their own feelings, and their own needs. People have no faith for what they cannot see and feel. What matters to them is what or who is present at the moment.

And, they always weave an extravagant web of lies to serve as your trap. Tragic, yes, the more you try to get away the more you get entangled in the web. There is no getting away. The lies are going to corrupt and devour your soul.

I am in the web.

I am trapped.

I feel helpless.

I want to break free.

January 14, 2014

You chose yourself and your lies over the one that really matters most. On top of it all, you chose to be with her after your work shift and even until now, you are still with her.

What the hell happened to all your promises the other night? What happened to all the things that I’ve held on to? Nothing… Purely nothing. Everything just turned into ashes as if it were a house burnt down in minutes. Indeed, THAT fast. You know what I’m crying about? There is no US anymore. It has always been you and your selfish SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS from the very start. I feel so bad about it, you know. You just don’t have any idea how deeply wounded I am, and yet I always hide it with a sweet smile.

And now, I do not know you at all. Had I known that you’d hurt me this bad, I should’ve taken 10 steps back in this relationship just to completely evade you. SERIOUSLY, what have I done for you to lie to me like this? What have I done for you to mistreat me? Have I not done enough just to be the perfect woman for you or even the most patient partner you could ever have? How ingrate of you to treat me like this.

I haven’t slept yet, you see.–Not even an hour. It feels like the world’s crumbling down on me and this is the time that I needed you MOST but you are not around. Yes, I give credit to the days or even months that you had me stay here but it is incomparable to the emptiness that I feel within. You know why? Because even if you are around, we don’t get to talk about the most essential things that we need to fix in this relationship. Next is, whenever we are together, there’s never a moment that you stopped thinking about her. Admit it or not, you, yourself can tell.

I have had enough…more than enough that I, myself, can’t even believe. I have loved you the best way I can…and I think, I have done my part and even exceeded your expectations. Trust me, I am in so much pain, Love. And just the fact that you chose a lie over me says a lot. One day, you’ll look back…and I hope you will remember that someone, somewhere in your past have loved you so real and so deep. I hope by then, you won’t weep and regret.

All has its end. Every race has its finish line. Somehow, I’m glad that I was able to love and give you all that I’ve got. It’s just that, you never really loved me. Love isn’t just a feeling. It is built by integrity, faithfulness, and trust. But everything’s been broken. Really broken. I have tried to fix it but I just can’t bear it alone. I looked at my side but you weren’t there. Instead, you just let me drown in misery ALONE. ALL ALONE. This is by far, the longest 15 hours and 30 minutes of my life. My head is tired of thinking, my body is numb of pain, my stomach is empty that not even a platter of food would suffice. How painful could this get? I shun you not.

Soul

When two souls fall in love, there is nothing else but the yearning to be close to the other. The presence that is felt through a hand-held, a voice heard, or a smile seen.

Souls do not have calendars or clocks, nor do they understand the notion of time or distance. They only know it feels right to be with one another.

This is the reason why you miss someone so much when they are not there– even if they are only in the very next room. Your soul only feels their absence– it doesn’t realize the separation is temporary.

+++

Can I ask you something?

Anything.

Why is it every time we say goodnight, it feels like goodbye?

Dear Future Boyfriend

I’ve always dreamed of writing my own letter to my future boyfriend. Perhaps my not-so-intentional random thoughts pushed me to write down my sentiments for him. So here it goes…

Dear Hun/Sweet/Love/Baby/and other odd names that I may call you,

First off, I might annoy you on calling you crazy and out-of-this-world names but do understand that it is my way of showing you my affection. Do not hesitate to tell me if I’m way too far.

Secondly, remember that when I commit myself to you, I chose to embrace all my fears of being hurt and having a crushed heart, but hey, it is you. And I think it would be worth it when (under unavoidable circumstances) you will hurt me. Remember, I opted to be in this relationship and I will be willing to listen to your reasons and understand you since I want to make this work.

Third, I do not know how to become your dream girlfriend but I would at least try to be a really good one. I will cook for you, will be sweeter, will be a better person for you and I am looking forward to learn new things with you… and with US.

Fourth, I believe that having a partner is seriously having a partner in everything you do. We are a tag team here, so please be aware that whenever you need an opponent for a throw-pillow-fight, a navigator when you drive, a stylist for your business meetings and other things, I hope I will be the first one you’ll call.

Fifth, I know you have your own thing and I also have mine but in the end, it is still with you whom I want to share the significant things that happened in my life. I want to share how many sets of lapses I did on my swimming workout or how i was so giddy-happy preparing for your favorite dish for dinner. I want to share with you how did my challenging work go and how did I perform well. I want you to be the first person who will hear those stories and I hope you do the same with yours. I will be looking forward to your stories everyday and even before we sleep at night.

Finally, I know I have been single for a year or so and still counting because I only wanted a REAL RELATIONSHIP, and now that I found you, I can’t promise that I will let you go just like that since I have waited and prayed for this so long.

And I said these three words only to my family and friends, and now I want to say it to you…

I LOVE YOU and I AM GIVING YOU MY HEART.

Love,
ME